Small Dicks

Tucker Carlson – Proud

I think Proud Boys are just guys who couldn’t manage to get dates. Why do they swear off jerking it? Even the Templars didn’t go this far and they were, well, so-called real men. I think they substitute their guns for small members.

And what the hell is it about Oath Keepers? What sort of oath do they keep? To clean up after themselves, to call their mom every weekend? What’s with the Long John Silver impersonation too? Stick a marble in it!

Another Proud “Boy”

I think Lindsey Graham must be a Proud Boy. I don’t think he gets many dates and he has to jerk off the comb over too.

Major League Football

I’m not a spectator sports fan but if I was I wouldn’t watch soccer (foot boul). We all know that soccer (football) has become the most popular sport on the planet only because you don’t need much gear to play the game, ball, makeshift goals, that’s it. But that’s to play the game, not watch it. It’s fun to play. But, 90 minutes of no scoring, players grabbing their shins and falling down but miraculously healing when the yellow or red card comes out, is not entertaining when you’re only watching. It’s dull. Worse than golf or tennis. Almost worse than cricket. No wonder fans just get pissed when there’s so much of nothing going on.

So, soccer (futbol) is the worst spectator sport. There is almost no scoring, most games are decided on a so-called penalty kick where the rest of the team along with the best scorer tees off against a helpless goal keeper. one nil, ho hum.

The so called Premiere league is especially a joke. Most of the teams suck and haven’t a snowball’s chance in hell of ever winning their class or local league, much less competing with Real Madrid, Barcelona Giants or the São Paulo Indians. It’s hopeless when nobody is going to even try to score a goal until the third period.

On top of that, most of the teams are owned by a guy on the other side of the world. The Sunderland Hot Sox are really the Aramco Hot Sox. How can a city or county take any pride in watching a team that’s owned by someone not in their hemisphere? Qatar and the Emirates are particularly guilty of this sin. In addition, there are teams where nobody on the team is a citizen of the host country. How can you root for that? It’s not prejudice, it’s just nonsense in sports where the underlying tribal nature of the game is denied. How can you possibly pick a side to root for?

The elegance of play in soccer (fotbul) is also much overrated. Watching a bunch of guys or gals stumbling over an inflated pig’s bladder and taking mincing steps to get the ball away from the opposing player without touching them is exceedingly dull watching. This is where the feigned injury comes in: the contestant looking like a mother bird trying to draw a predator away from the nest.

Now, as I’ve stated, I’m not a spectator sports watcher. No fantasy curling or anything like that. But, if I were going to watch something, it certainly wouldn’t be soccer, it would be North American Football or Ice Hockey. Why? Because, unlike soccer, these are fast, high scoring, full contact; tied games are decided by “sudden death overtime” not a penalty kick. Play until the last gladiator falls.

So this brings me to Major League Football. How many ways can I contrast this with the more “international” game of soccer? Well, first of all there is a Minor League Football too. It weeds out the subhumans who cannot compete at the top level MLF (but could still run rings around any soccer team). Now in these Minor Leagues, the players all are supposed to come from the area where each team is affiliated with. Nebraska Corn Huskers, well, you can guess where they come from. This is not a hard and fast rule but they still have to be from the United States. You won’t find any Spanish or (god save us) French South American, or pasty weakling British players. I’d like to see Beckham or Rooney try to take on the Chicago Bear’s defensive line. They’d turn them into posh spice alright. In addition, the teams have to be owned by real Americans not foreign interests. Preferably the owners are affiliated with the geographic area that their team’s name comes from, although it’s not a requirement. But, these aspects can enhance the underlying tribal feel of the American games.

American Football (real football) players (and North American ice hockey players for that matter), have flashy gladiator/video game-like armor that appeals to men, women, and children. Oh, and the LGBTQ+ community as well. Can’t forget them.

These uniforms are both colorful and intimidating; not just a T-shirt, baggy shorts, sissy socks and femme shoes.

The fans. In MLF, unlike soccer (fussbol), most of the spectators actually watch the game, know the rules and are educated at least to the eighth grade. In Europe or Latin America the benchers, as they’re called, rarely pay attention to the contest. Instead they use the outing as an excuse for public intoxication, vandalism, racial slurs and the like. Fortunately the paucity of guns outside the US, at least in Europe, cuts down on the number casualties at the local league fest.

During the game, to fill the better part of a match where nothing is actually happening on the pitch, soccer fans resort to mainly two things besides alcohol: waving huge banners that obscure the views of most of the spectators or engaging in rousing chants of “Deutschland Uber Alles” or the like. None of these have any effect on the game, nor do they enhance the viewers experience, since they occur randomly, and not necessarily when there is a need to celebrate or spur the team on but to otherwise to entertain the spectators when nothing is happening on the field (most of the time).

So finally, if you were going to waste your life watching other people playing children’s’ games on a daily basis, well, the logical choice would not be soccer. How about snooker, bowling, or professional card games? At least they’re indoors and it’s not raining and you can smoke a cigarette while you’re watching or playing.

Trickle Down


The Munchkin seen here with Eva Braun’s granddaughter and some money from the Reichsbank. Other Party member unidentified.

Well dear friends, I’m here to discuss another of the Comb Over’s underqualified ubermensch.  Today’s victim is Oberfuhrer of the Treasury Stefan Mnuchin, a previously convicted felon, investment banker, and overpaid Wall Street insider.  All these are synonyms for crook but I don’t expect you to know that or even know what a synonym is.  Trust me.  Even though said Party Member is purportedly six feet tall, I can’t help but use the moniker of Munchkin for the Oberfuhrer, so onward.

The Munchkin’s latest idea is to give the uber-rich even more money from the already debt ridden U.S. Treasury.  $100 billion.  If this wasn’t a bribe for the already uber-rich semi-Libertarian Koch Brothers who have decided they don’t really like the Comb Over because of his onerous trade and immigration policies, well then I don’t know what a bribe is.  The details of this is a capital gains tax break driven by discounting the cost basis of assets to inflation.  Now I know you aren’t going to understand this, and it is complicated.  Your underfunded school system couldn’t possibly have prepared you for this kind of mind bending concept, but I went to a big city private university so you know you can trust me.  Stay with me here.


Old Uber-Rich White Guys

The long and the short of this is 2/3 (two-thirds) of this $100,000,000,000 tax windfall would go to the upper 0.1% of the uber-rich.  Almost zilch will go to you my freunde since you don’t have any, or little, capital gains.  Only rich people have a lot of capital gains.  Have you ever heard the phrase:  “It takes money, to make money”?  That’s what rich people do instead of going to work.  It gives them time to host reality shows, which we all know is not real work.  You or I however, have to work for a living, or you have a pension, or a Social Security “entitlement,” or a 401K.  None of these are “assets” that you can claim capital gains on so no candy for you.  Pension funds are likewise pretty screwed since they tend to be invested in income generating assets like bonds.  I know, your head is going to explode.  Let’s boil it down to:  only rich people are going to benefit from this proposed capital gains tax cut, not you untermensch.

Now to justify this charade the Munchkin mentions the dreaded “Trickle Down.”  Think back.  Think back real hard.  When was the last time anything besides piss trickled down from a rich guy, hmm?  This Laffable economic theory has been shown to never work.  It’s been debunked more times than you’ve taken a shower.  Nothing ever trickles down from the rich, not money, not jobs, not healthcare anyway.  Do uber-rich guys start new businesses?  Do they employ gobs of people?  Usually not, poor and middle class persons start businesses and a few become uber-rich.  Rich people just collect capital gains on real estate, stocks, bonds, options, annuities, etc.  Do they build a single factory?  No.  They don’t have to work, so why give them more money to stuff in an offshore account that benefits no one besides the uber-rich?  They don’t need it, but you could sure use it my poor freunde.

Lastly, the Comb-Over stands to benefit the most from this capital gains tax swindle, so think about that.  He also says that collusion is not a crime.  Why would he say that?  Did he collude on something, so I looked up collude:  come to a secret understanding for a harmful purpose; conspire.  Secret, harmful purpose, conspire.  I think we should all collude to make the Comb Over go away.

Trump Participates In Swearing In Of Robert Wilkie As Veterans Affairs Secretary

Old Hickory and the Comb Over

Fake News


The Comb Over must be reading a chapter of Mein Kampf every night before he goes to bed.  Actually I don’t think the Comb Over ever read a book in his life.  He’s probably got the abridged Audible version which he pirated so he doesn’t have to give Jeff Bezos a nickel.  Nix that, he probably doesn’t even realise that Audible is owned by Amazon unless he saw it on the State Media Fox & Freunde.


Oberfuhrer Heinrich Hannity

Anyway the reason I say this is he seems to add a new facet to his already revolting personality each day in order to make him look even more like Adolf Hitler, or his alter ego and uck buddy Party Secretary Josef Stalin, sorry I mean “President” dictator Vladimir Putin.  Today’s Comb Over Twitter rant involves targeting the Media (whatever that means, I guess it would include me too) as the “enemy of the state.”  Is he just cutting and pasting these Tweets straight out of Mein Kampf or is he thinking about it at all?  Strike that, he never had an original thought in his life.

The Comb Over apparently asked for an “off the record” meeting with the editor of the New York Times on July 20th about the hostility of the Times to the Fourth Reich which the orange-lidded lying weasel subsequently put on the record by referring to the meeting in a Twitter rant about the “fake news enemy of the state dying newspaper media.”  The Times was left with no recourse except to rebut the lies the Comb Over spread about the meeting and state its own view that it would continue reporting the truth as it sees it and welcomed the Comb Over to attack the Times in any way he felt inclined short of censorship.  The editor of the Times apparently stressed in the meeting that the Comb Over’s vitriol (he’ll have to look that one up) towards the media was possibly whipping up a hateful and dangerous frenzy among the gun toting brown shirted confederate flag wavers, bigots, gay baiters, knuckle draggers, ignoramuses, and racists that form the base of the Nazi Party, er, Republican, I mean Comb Over’s support (my paraphrase, not the Times).

One final note, a sort of aside.  I’ve got some fake news, the confederate flag is now the new swastika.






The Big Lie


Propaganda Ministers

Josef Goebbels was actually the mastermind behind selling the Final Solution to the world.  After WWII started for real Hitler rarely appeared in public.  He didn’t want to take any questions.  He didn’t want the media attention.  He was so popular, he didn’t want to get his head blown off.  He didn’t like “fake news” about Germany.

“All this was inspired by the principle—which is quite true within itself—that in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility; because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily; and thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie, since they themselves often tell small lies in little matters but would be ashamed to resort to large-scale falsehoods.

It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously. Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation.”  – Mein Kampf

Basically, ignorant people will believe the big lie because it is so outrageous they couldn’t imagine themselves telling the same, or another equivalently outrageous, big lie.  Goebbels thought that he could not only sucker his own people with the Big Lie, but also the British and they would come around to the Nazi way of thinking about the Jews.  But the Brits didn’t buy the Big Lie, well they actually did once, but fool me twice, I don’t think so.

Now add fifty pounds, lose the hat, add a string of pearls, lipstick, and a dress to Goebbels and we have the current Propaganda Minister Sarah Sanders Huckabee.   Huckabee.  Ring a bell?  Former Propaganda Minister Sean Spicer (SS) couldn’t keep telling the big lies with a straight face, or admitting that he didn’t have a clue about what to say, so we got SSH.  SS, remember that.  Oh wait, that was HH, Heinrich Himmler.  Never mind….  There are so many parallels it is uncanny.   These people claim to be good Christians and they lie, lie lie.  What about those Ten Commandments?

Anyway, apparently certain reporters aren’t going to be allowed in the Rose Garden anymore because they ask the Comb Over questions he doesn’t want to answer, or can’t answer, or he can’t sell the Big Lie effectively anymore.  So, Propaganda Minister SS Huckabee is now going to be more the face of the Reich since she can regurgitate the Big Lie effectively with a straight face, argue with reporters, expel the media, stomp on the First Amendment, etc.  Today the Comb Over supposedly took the limo instead of Marine One to Air Force One because of the weather.  Fog.  No reports of fog in DC today.  Remember when I told you about helicopters and the Comb Over  way back in 2013?  The Big Lie.



I’m back as semi-official chronicler of the last days of the Republic.  As if the Comb Over couldn’t get any more abject or disgusting, here we have him jerking off the only other person more despicable than him in the world today, Party Secretary Premiere Josef, er, I mean, President Vladimir Putin.  After treating the United States’ allies as rubbish, we see the Comb Over kissing up to the current worst dictator in the world.  My Hitler/Stalin metaphors simply aren’t blatant enough for you NRA scum Fox News ingesting Right Wing Evangelical Ignorant Tea Party Republican fools.  Maybe when the Soviets, er I mean, Russians invade Eastern Europe again triggering WWIII you’ll get the message, or how about when the Russkies come knocking at your NRA approved Prepper bunker.  How about China or Europe as an ally when that happens?  Well we screwed that one too.

Now here is today’s history lesson.  In the 1980’s the Republican’s beloved 40th president Ronald Reagan (I never thought I’d be counting him as one of the “good” ones, but hey the qualifying aspects of American leadership seem to have become spotty in recent decades.) embarked on a massive arms race with one strategic goal:  to bankrupt the Cold War Soviet Union.  We can argue about how much Reagan had to do with this, but the essential fact remains that the USSR did go bust and Communism, the great threat since WWII, fell and democracy broke out from the Ukraine to Eastern Germany.  Pretty good deal, huh?  I never thought it would happen in my lifetime, as a few other things also seem to be happening now.  On top of that the Russian people appeared to be free as well – until the oligarchs from the old Soviet regime resurrected their paramilitary mafia style government again.

Why do the Russians always seem to gravitate towards “strong” corrupt leadership?  They always end up screwed in the end.  This is the main reason that Russia continues to lag the rest of the world.  India and China are now more prosperous than Russia.  Hell, Vietnam is more prosperous than Russia.  Only North Korea seems to lag farther behind, just because it doesn’t have access to the vast natural resources Russia has.   But I digress…


Vladimir Putin is not very far from Stalin, or Hitler, or any other modern tyrant.  Kim Jong Un and Benito Mussolini and Daniel Ortega and Robert Mugabe and Idi Amin and Saddam Hussein and Francisco Franco and Omar Gaddafi all come to mind.  Good guys that you’d wanna hang out with as good Republicans and Patriots and share a beer with.  Nice FIFA All Star soccer team.

That the Comb Over is seen neck sucking this KGB vampire from the old Soviet Union would have Mr. President Reagan spinning in his grave.  He would have been revolted seeing the 45th President schmoozing and thanking the Secret Police creep.  It would have made any previous US president’s skin crawl.  Think of Lincoln or Washington or Madison or Jefferson.  Would any of them welcomed this tyrant?  Hamilton or Teddy Roosevelt?  I don’t think so.  They would have shown him more than the door.  Benedict Arnold would have been proud.


Putin and the Russians must have some bad dirt on the Duck because after seeing the Comb Over disgracefully throw his own Intelligence Service under the bus in front of the current world’s second worst tyrant on the international stage in Helsinki, the only question left is:  Did Putin use a condom?




Today’s topical rant, er, reasoned argument is over the Comb Over’s trip to the UK.  My first question to the gutless Prime Minister Theresa May and her lap dog Boris Johnson is, have they ever heard of Neville Chamberlain?  He ended up in a pretty footnote in history didn’t he?  Nobody pays attention to their schooling even when they get a good one.  Apparently they both want to appear alongside Chamberlain in the history books.

The most ethically and morally correct thing to do to the Comb Over at this point is disinvite, hell shun, the tyrant.  Call a spade a spade, a tyrant a tyrant, an emperor an emperor, a fuhrer a fuhrer and tell him he appals you.  Don’t legitimize a dictator by engaging in so called “mutual interests.”  The UK’s best interest at this point in time is for the Comb Over to choke on his next bite of filet mignon.

Unfortunately the Brexit debacle has put the UK in the position of being shaken like a rat by its tail until the last pence falls out of its pocket by the Comb Over.  No more European allies to fall back on.  Dumb and Dumber.  What was that asshole’s name. Nigel something or other.  He’ll get into the history books too in all the wrong ways.  I always thought Brits were smarter than the colonists but hey I’ve been wrong before.

I hope the Queen kicks him in the balls or has one of those hand buzzers.



I used to try to make this blog somewhat entertaining, back in those days when life wasn’t yet so serious.  I’d talk about TV programmes, professional wrestling, seniors driving, and sometimes the odd important issue, but still try to make it light and lively.  Satire they call it.  Well dear reader, the end times have come.  The thing everybody said could never happen here happened here.  The Comb Over on late night TV is not funny.  Hitler on late night TV is not funny.  Laugh now, but you won’t be laughing when they come for you.  Get ready for the party to end.  Bad hangover if you even wake up.  Ever seen the film Cabaret?  Well we’re living it.  Money makes the world go ’round.

Now that I’ve re-started this blog again I don’t know where to start.  There are so many untold truths.  Maybe I’ve waited too long.  But you’ve got to start somewhere.  Bite size as they say.

So, let’s start with what I call the last straw.  Images, sounds, of children wailing, desperately trying to memorize phone numbers in another language.  Pictures of cages with children in them.  Is this Bavaria in 1936?  No, it’s Texas in the 21st century.  Sounds like an alternate history sf novel kinda.  Well, if you like that sort of thing, you’re living it now.  Enjoy the ride into future history.  The Comb Over has legitimized the incarceration of families, of human beings, people no different than you or I just born in another place and, seeking a better life for themselves and their loved ones. Look up the word Objectification, Look up Dehumanize.  Do you think if this had been 1936 without social media that it would have stopped on its own?  America was always about the hope of a better future for ourselves but even more so for our children and future generations.

Philosophically I’m socially Libertarian.  I generally approve of unfettered immigration.  Come on over everybody let’s have a party!  There’s room in this house for everyone! That’s how America became the greatest nation it was.  Invite don’t discourage.  What if you hadn’t been born with the silver spoon that is American citizenship and white skin in this world?  A fate you never deserved or asked for, just given, not as a right but as a fact of random chance?

Sure you get the bad with the good, but the chances are so small it’s ridiculous.  Do you think that your chances of being victimized by MS-13 or Islamic Fundamentalism is so great that we should lock the door and hunker down with our guns and goods?  Your chances of being killed by terrorists or cartels is less than falling down the stairs or in a traffic accident because of our lousy roads.  Where are the sensible priorities?  You are being victimized by the fear of bad statistics and bad science.  A symptom of our failure to provide a decent education to our electorate.  Besides Law Enforcement was supposed to take care of those things before it became the slave of the militarization of the War on Drugs.  And sensible gun control would also take care of a lot of it.  Those are other topics but I’ll have to save those for another time or this would get too long for the average State News, er, I mean, Fox News consumer.  See I still throw in the odd one liner.

What the haves (Ubermensch) will not tell you is they want to let just enough of the “right” ones in to protect the white rich society; the Roman lifestyle they all live, and fool you into thinking you can aspire to in life, while keeping wages low and any talk of human rights and decency out of the equation.  Healthcare, Shelter, decent living standards.  These would put too much of a burden on “society” and ruin the economy.  C’mon folks stop being swindled by the lies.

I’ll give you one last tidbit to ponder, not about immigration but even you will figure it out.  Look up something called the Soviet-German Non-Aggression Pact between Nazi Germany and the Stalinist Soviet Union.  Now change the names to Trump, Vladimir Putin, and just for good measure throw in Kim Jong Un as Benito Mussolini.  Hey, I think I’ve seen this film before….  Those who fail to heed their history are doomed to repeat it.  Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.  Blind acceptance is a sign of stupid fools who stand in line.  Anger IS an energy.

If only CBS, or CNN, or anybody for that matter would point these things out I wouldn’t have to sit here over my vintage computer and I could get a low paying, benefits and pension free job in the New Economy and rest easy at night….  Satire.

Oh, by the way that’s not Hitler at the top but another nice guy from the 1940s trying to make America, er I mean Germany, great again.  He poisoned himself, his wife, and all his children in the end.  We should be so lucky.  Sorry about the wife and kids tho.




The Comb Over (Part 2)


Yes blessed friends I’m back.  And better than ever.  It is my sad duty to have to exercise my First Amendment Rights as an American in order to inform you that The Comb Over is Adolf Hitler with orange hair.  45th President of the United States.  If there ever was a sign of the decline of western civilization Donald Trump is it.  I told you the parallels were eerie: a leader treated by the political and media establishment as a buffoon, a dimwit outsider and an “it can’t happen here,” lazy intellectual attitude on the part of an ignorant electorate due to a shabby school system kidnapped by Tea Party Christian Right Wing White Republicans in favor of charter, voucher, home school, and just plain minimal investment in the education of our future (our children).  Then there is the Big Lie.  Then there is the manipulation of liberal democracy by Billionaires and the Soviet Union, er, I mean Russia.  I will prove to you in these bitter pages that to vote for a Republican now is to vote for the Nazi Party, Der Fuhrer.  Wait and see.  It will all become crystal clear.

Where to start?  Maybe at the end.  The separation and caging of refugee children was the last straw.  Where was the last place we saw families divided and sent off to “detention” camps when they came to a new country?  Do I have to spell it out for you?  You watch the History Channel, right?  My father fought to liberate people from concentration camps.  Almost died in The Battle of the Bulge.  Am I gonna sit here and watch the same thing happen to the Red, White, and Blue?  I’m disgusted, appalled.  Crying children.  My country?  Cages.  I’m ashamed to call myself American.

ICE.  Jack-booted storm troopers.  Sometimes you just walk away from your job because it is too repulsive, inhumane.  You say “I won’t be a part of this.”  Patriots just doing their jobs?  So were the SS men in Dachau.  Study the banality of evil.  They say they’ll use DNA to match the right children with their families.  What’s that about?  Like parents won’t recognize their own children?  Why do we need to match DNA?  If this doesn’t sound creepy to you, you aren’t paying attention.

How many times have you heard someone ask “if you were back in Nazi Germany would you have participated in the Holocaust?”  The answer is inevitably, “No I would have resisted.”  Liars, every one of you.

The time for conversation is over.  There is no such thing as “good people on both sides” when the Confederate flag is displayed.  How would you feel if they put up a statue honoring Erwin Rommel and you were Jewish?  Stone Mountain, Georgia.  How does an African American feel about that monument?


On today’s menu is Scott Pruitt Gauleiter of the Environmental Protection Agency.  He resigns after disemboweling 50 years of environmental protection for the planet.  Talk about putting the fox in the hen house.  A lifestyle considered lavish even by Imperial Roman standards on my/your dime while you scrabble to get health insurance, he resigns not in shame, but in having done a “good” job.  I’m sure there is a CEO/Lobbyist job he doesn’t need waiting for him in the Energy Sector somewhere.  Probably the Koch brothers.  Who knows.  Presidential Pardon.

Enough for today.  I’ll get back to you tomorrow.  I have so much more to say….

Foreign Invasion


Now I watch a lot of broadcast TV and you should too.  It’s the best way to gather information about the world other than the dark web but you aren’t ready for that. Patience.

When I’m not watching the #1 rated drama on US network television, NCIS, or one of its clones, on Sunday nights I sometimes creep over to the so-called “Public” television outlets on my high speed digital network.  Now today, in this 21st Century Comb-Over Era, perception and expectation are everything, and I expect to only hear British accents over on what we will now call for brevity’s sake, the PBS television network.

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On a Sunday evening I expect to relax to some BBC 19th century parlor drama on my local public television station.  

Some programs on Public Television are actually from other UK production outlets like the commercial ITV.  This is fine by me as long as they get the accent right.  I’m as free market as the next yob when it comes to high brow television. But what’s got me really upset now is that they are starting to screen inferior accented series from Australia and New Zealand on public television.  As if we couldn’t tell the difference between a British accent and an Aussie accent.  Some people may be fooled, but not me. When I see my Pride and Prejudice I don’t want anybody popping off to Outback Steakhouse during the sponsor breaks at pledge time.

Unlike the US, Australia and New Zealand are just down in the mouth British colonies that couldn’t make it on their own.  Australia is just a shabby California. There’s nothing high brow or hoity-toity about these convict transportation camps that would interest the more advanced American viewers of TV like myself.  It’s shameful to screen ersatz Brideshead Revisiteds next to genuine smart English television content.  You can always tell when someone is trying to make it on the cheap. Substitute margarine for butter.  Made in Polynesia for made in the UK.  A downturn in pledge dollars doesn’t have to mean a sacrifice in quality.  How much could reruns of Good Neighbors or As Time Goes By cost?  As in all British TV, economical production values are overcome by high brow accents and big words where smaller words would normally suffice on large budget US TV programs like NCIS.  That’s what the literate public TV viewer expects.  Not G’day or throw another kangaroo on the barbie.  Public TV has lost its rudder.


Alistair Cooke – More American than Apple Pie

Now we accept Irish, Scots, and Welsh or even Indian accents in our public television content because these are necessary for verisimilitude especially when properly accented English people are really in charge.  This is only logical.  Every country has its aboriginal peoples.  Even America has Southern accents, but nobody is going to believe a documentary series about our founding fathers where people talk like they are from Atlanta or Sydney, people expect a British accent, and a low budget British production in some dreary castle would be even better.  After all who is better suited to present past glories than the British?  Nobody in America wants to see stories about small villages in the 1940s, or the 19th century in Australia or New Zealand and if public TV thinks they can foist this on American pledge givers as British programming just because cable network BBC America now gets the cream of British programming, along with the Star Trek franchise, well they need to wake up and smell the tea brewing.  Pasty complexions, bad teeth and posh accents are what we expect on Sunday night.

Now with Brexit on the horizon the fear is that even more Oceania programming will make it onto the lucrative US public TV market.  I say don’t stand for it.  God Save the Queen! Vote with your pledge dollars. Sure you can expect lower production values in British television as a result but these can always be overcome with longer words and posher accents.  More specials with dead 1950s and ’60s doo wop and pop groups are no substitute for high brow British mini series.


One yearns for the days when Alistair Cooke introduced Masterpiece with the proper Theater sup-pended to it.  Alan Cummings, although with a Scots accent, is almost more an American staple now than Cooke.  And now Emma Peel! Now if only the current content were as good.

I say put the Theater back in Masterpiece and take the Masterpiece out of Mystery.  Don’t stand for inferior colonial programming.  The next thing you know they’ll be putting programming from the ultimate failed colony, Canada, on public TV.  The most patriotic thing you can do today is write to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting or your local PBS station to keep our American public television exclusively British. Hail Britannia!