Small Dicks

Tucker Carlson – Proud

I think Proud Boys are just guys who couldn’t manage to get dates. Why do they swear off jerking it? Even the Templars didn’t go this far and they were, well, so-called real men. I think they substitute their guns for small members.

And what the hell is it about Oath Keepers? What sort of oath do they keep? To clean up after themselves, to call their mom every weekend? What’s with the Long John Silver impersonation too? Stick a marble in it!

Another Proud “Boy”

I think Lindsey Graham must be a Proud Boy. I don’t think he gets many dates and he has to jerk off the comb over too.

Major League Football

I’m not a spectator sports fan but if I was I wouldn’t watch soccer (foot boul). We all know that soccer (football) has become the most popular sport on the planet only because you don’t need much gear to play the game, ball, makeshift goals, that’s it. But that’s to play the game, not watch it. It’s fun to play. But, 90 minutes of no scoring, players grabbing their shins and falling down but miraculously healing when the yellow or red card comes out, is not entertaining when you’re only watching. It’s dull. Worse than golf or tennis. Almost worse than cricket. No wonder fans just get pissed when there’s so much of nothing going on.

So, soccer (futbol) is the worst spectator sport. There is almost no scoring, most games are decided on a so-called penalty kick where the rest of the team along with the best scorer tees off against a helpless goal keeper. one nil, ho hum.

The so called Premiere league is especially a joke. Most of the teams suck and haven’t a snowball’s chance in hell of ever winning their class or local league, much less competing with Real Madrid, Barcelona Giants or the São Paulo Indians. It’s hopeless when nobody is going to even try to score a goal until the third period.

On top of that, most of the teams are owned by a guy on the other side of the world. The Sunderland Hot Sox are really the Aramco Hot Sox. How can a city or county take any pride in watching a team that’s owned by someone not in their hemisphere? Qatar and the Emirates are particularly guilty of this sin. In addition, there are teams where nobody on the team is a citizen of the host country. How can you root for that? It’s not prejudice, it’s just nonsense in sports where the underlying tribal nature of the game is denied. How can you possibly pick a side to root for?

The elegance of play in soccer (fotbul) is also much overrated. Watching a bunch of guys or gals stumbling over an inflated pig’s bladder and taking mincing steps to get the ball away from the opposing player without touching them is exceedingly dull watching. This is where the feigned injury comes in: the contestant looking like a mother bird trying to draw a predator away from the nest.

Now, as I’ve stated, I’m not a spectator sports watcher. No fantasy curling or anything like that. But, if I were going to watch something, it certainly wouldn’t be soccer, it would be North American Football or Ice Hockey. Why? Because, unlike soccer, these are fast, high scoring, full contact; tied games are decided by “sudden death overtime” not a penalty kick. Play until the last gladiator falls.

So this brings me to Major League Football. How many ways can I contrast this with the more “international” game of soccer? Well, first of all there is a Minor League Football too. It weeds out the subhumans who cannot compete at the top level MLF (but could still run rings around any soccer team). Now in these Minor Leagues, the players all are supposed to come from the area where each team is affiliated with. Nebraska Corn Huskers, well, you can guess where they come from. This is not a hard and fast rule but they still have to be from the United States. You won’t find any Spanish or (god save us) French South American, or pasty weakling British players. I’d like to see Beckham or Rooney try to take on the Chicago Bear’s defensive line. They’d turn them into posh spice alright. In addition, the teams have to be owned by real Americans not foreign interests. Preferably the owners are affiliated with the geographic area that their team’s name comes from, although it’s not a requirement. But, these aspects can enhance the underlying tribal feel of the American games.

American Football (real football) players (and North American ice hockey players for that matter), have flashy gladiator/video game-like armor that appeals to men, women, and children. Oh, and the LGBTQ+ community as well. Can’t forget them.

These uniforms are both colorful and intimidating; not just a T-shirt, baggy shorts, sissy socks and femme shoes.

The fans. In MLF, unlike soccer (fussbol), most of the spectators actually watch the game, know the rules and are educated at least to the eighth grade. In Europe or Latin America the benchers, as they’re called, rarely pay attention to the contest. Instead they use the outing as an excuse for public intoxication, vandalism, racial slurs and the like. Fortunately the paucity of guns outside the US, at least in Europe, cuts down on the number casualties at the local league fest.

During the game, to fill the better part of a match where nothing is actually happening on the pitch, soccer fans resort to mainly two things besides alcohol: waving huge banners that obscure the views of most of the spectators or engaging in rousing chants of “Deutschland Uber Alles” or the like. None of these have any effect on the game, nor do they enhance the viewers experience, since they occur randomly, and not necessarily when there is a need to celebrate or spur the team on but to otherwise to entertain the spectators when nothing is happening on the field (most of the time).

So finally, if you were going to waste your life watching other people playing children’s’ games on a daily basis, well, the logical choice would not be soccer. How about snooker, bowling, or professional card games? At least they’re indoors and it’s not raining and you can smoke a cigarette while you’re watching or playing.



I’m back as semi-official chronicler of the last days of the Republic.  As if the Comb Over couldn’t get any more abject or disgusting, here we have him jerking off the only other person more despicable than him in the world today, Party Secretary Premiere Josef, er, I mean, President Vladimir Putin.  After treating the United States’ allies as rubbish, we see the Comb Over kissing up to the current worst dictator in the world.  My Hitler/Stalin metaphors simply aren’t blatant enough for you NRA scum Fox News ingesting Right Wing Evangelical Ignorant Tea Party Republican fools.  Maybe when the Soviets, er I mean, Russians invade Eastern Europe again triggering WWIII you’ll get the message, or how about when the Russkies come knocking at your NRA approved Prepper bunker.  How about China or Europe as an ally when that happens?  Well we screwed that one too.

Now here is today’s history lesson.  In the 1980’s the Republican’s beloved 40th president Ronald Reagan (I never thought I’d be counting him as one of the “good” ones, but hey the qualifying aspects of American leadership seem to have become spotty in recent decades.) embarked on a massive arms race with one strategic goal:  to bankrupt the Cold War Soviet Union.  We can argue about how much Reagan had to do with this, but the essential fact remains that the USSR did go bust and Communism, the great threat since WWII, fell and democracy broke out from the Ukraine to Eastern Germany.  Pretty good deal, huh?  I never thought it would happen in my lifetime, as a few other things also seem to be happening now.  On top of that the Russian people appeared to be free as well – until the oligarchs from the old Soviet regime resurrected their paramilitary mafia style government again.

Why do the Russians always seem to gravitate towards “strong” corrupt leadership?  They always end up screwed in the end.  This is the main reason that Russia continues to lag the rest of the world.  India and China are now more prosperous than Russia.  Hell, Vietnam is more prosperous than Russia.  Only North Korea seems to lag farther behind, just because it doesn’t have access to the vast natural resources Russia has.   But I digress…


Vladimir Putin is not very far from Stalin, or Hitler, or any other modern tyrant.  Kim Jong Un and Benito Mussolini and Daniel Ortega and Robert Mugabe and Idi Amin and Saddam Hussein and Francisco Franco and Omar Gaddafi all come to mind.  Good guys that you’d wanna hang out with as good Republicans and Patriots and share a beer with.  Nice FIFA All Star soccer team.

That the Comb Over is seen neck sucking this KGB vampire from the old Soviet Union would have Mr. President Reagan spinning in his grave.  He would have been revolted seeing the 45th President schmoozing and thanking the Secret Police creep.  It would have made any previous US president’s skin crawl.  Think of Lincoln or Washington or Madison or Jefferson.  Would any of them welcomed this tyrant?  Hamilton or Teddy Roosevelt?  I don’t think so.  They would have shown him more than the door.  Benedict Arnold would have been proud.


Putin and the Russians must have some bad dirt on the Duck because after seeing the Comb Over disgracefully throw his own Intelligence Service under the bus in front of the current world’s second worst tyrant on the international stage in Helsinki, the only question left is:  Did Putin use a condom?




Today’s topical rant, er, reasoned argument is over the Comb Over’s trip to the UK.  My first question to the gutless Prime Minister Theresa May and her lap dog Boris Johnson is, have they ever heard of Neville Chamberlain?  He ended up in a pretty footnote in history didn’t he?  Nobody pays attention to their schooling even when they get a good one.  Apparently they both want to appear alongside Chamberlain in the history books.

The most ethically and morally correct thing to do to the Comb Over at this point is disinvite, hell shun, the tyrant.  Call a spade a spade, a tyrant a tyrant, an emperor an emperor, a fuhrer a fuhrer and tell him he appals you.  Don’t legitimize a dictator by engaging in so called “mutual interests.”  The UK’s best interest at this point in time is for the Comb Over to choke on his next bite of filet mignon.

Unfortunately the Brexit debacle has put the UK in the position of being shaken like a rat by its tail until the last pence falls out of its pocket by the Comb Over.  No more European allies to fall back on.  Dumb and Dumber.  What was that asshole’s name. Nigel something or other.  He’ll get into the history books too in all the wrong ways.  I always thought Brits were smarter than the colonists but hey I’ve been wrong before.

I hope the Queen kicks him in the balls or has one of those hand buzzers.



I used to try to make this blog somewhat entertaining, back in those days when life wasn’t yet so serious.  I’d talk about TV programmes, professional wrestling, seniors driving, and sometimes the odd important issue, but still try to make it light and lively.  Satire they call it.  Well dear reader, the end times have come.  The thing everybody said could never happen here happened here.  The Comb Over on late night TV is not funny.  Hitler on late night TV is not funny.  Laugh now, but you won’t be laughing when they come for you.  Get ready for the party to end.  Bad hangover if you even wake up.  Ever seen the film Cabaret?  Well we’re living it.  Money makes the world go ’round.

Now that I’ve re-started this blog again I don’t know where to start.  There are so many untold truths.  Maybe I’ve waited too long.  But you’ve got to start somewhere.  Bite size as they say.

So, let’s start with what I call the last straw.  Images, sounds, of children wailing, desperately trying to memorize phone numbers in another language.  Pictures of cages with children in them.  Is this Bavaria in 1936?  No, it’s Texas in the 21st century.  Sounds like an alternate history sf novel kinda.  Well, if you like that sort of thing, you’re living it now.  Enjoy the ride into future history.  The Comb Over has legitimized the incarceration of families, of human beings, people no different than you or I just born in another place and, seeking a better life for themselves and their loved ones. Look up the word Objectification, Look up Dehumanize.  Do you think if this had been 1936 without social media that it would have stopped on its own?  America was always about the hope of a better future for ourselves but even more so for our children and future generations.

Philosophically I’m socially Libertarian.  I generally approve of unfettered immigration.  Come on over everybody let’s have a party!  There’s room in this house for everyone! That’s how America became the greatest nation it was.  Invite don’t discourage.  What if you hadn’t been born with the silver spoon that is American citizenship and white skin in this world?  A fate you never deserved or asked for, just given, not as a right but as a fact of random chance?

Sure you get the bad with the good, but the chances are so small it’s ridiculous.  Do you think that your chances of being victimized by MS-13 or Islamic Fundamentalism is so great that we should lock the door and hunker down with our guns and goods?  Your chances of being killed by terrorists or cartels is less than falling down the stairs or in a traffic accident because of our lousy roads.  Where are the sensible priorities?  You are being victimized by the fear of bad statistics and bad science.  A symptom of our failure to provide a decent education to our electorate.  Besides Law Enforcement was supposed to take care of those things before it became the slave of the militarization of the War on Drugs.  And sensible gun control would also take care of a lot of it.  Those are other topics but I’ll have to save those for another time or this would get too long for the average State News, er, I mean, Fox News consumer.  See I still throw in the odd one liner.

What the haves (Ubermensch) will not tell you is they want to let just enough of the “right” ones in to protect the white rich society; the Roman lifestyle they all live, and fool you into thinking you can aspire to in life, while keeping wages low and any talk of human rights and decency out of the equation.  Healthcare, Shelter, decent living standards.  These would put too much of a burden on “society” and ruin the economy.  C’mon folks stop being swindled by the lies.

I’ll give you one last tidbit to ponder, not about immigration but even you will figure it out.  Look up something called the Soviet-German Non-Aggression Pact between Nazi Germany and the Stalinist Soviet Union.  Now change the names to Trump, Vladimir Putin, and just for good measure throw in Kim Jong Un as Benito Mussolini.  Hey, I think I’ve seen this film before….  Those who fail to heed their history are doomed to repeat it.  Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.  Blind acceptance is a sign of stupid fools who stand in line.  Anger IS an energy.

If only CBS, or CNN, or anybody for that matter would point these things out I wouldn’t have to sit here over my vintage computer and I could get a low paying, benefits and pension free job in the New Economy and rest easy at night….  Satire.

Oh, by the way that’s not Hitler at the top but another nice guy from the 1940s trying to make America, er I mean Germany, great again.  He poisoned himself, his wife, and all his children in the end.  We should be so lucky.  Sorry about the wife and kids tho.




The Comb Over (Part 2)


Yes blessed friends I’m back.  And better than ever.  It is my sad duty to have to exercise my First Amendment Rights as an American in order to inform you that The Comb Over is Adolf Hitler with orange hair.  45th President of the United States.  If there ever was a sign of the decline of western civilization Donald Trump is it.  I told you the parallels were eerie: a leader treated by the political and media establishment as a buffoon, a dimwit outsider and an “it can’t happen here,” lazy intellectual attitude on the part of an ignorant electorate due to a shabby school system kidnapped by Tea Party Christian Right Wing White Republicans in favor of charter, voucher, home school, and just plain minimal investment in the education of our future (our children).  Then there is the Big Lie.  Then there is the manipulation of liberal democracy by Billionaires and the Soviet Union, er, I mean Russia.  I will prove to you in these bitter pages that to vote for a Republican now is to vote for the Nazi Party, Der Fuhrer.  Wait and see.  It will all become crystal clear.

Where to start?  Maybe at the end.  The separation and caging of refugee children was the last straw.  Where was the last place we saw families divided and sent off to “detention” camps when they came to a new country?  Do I have to spell it out for you?  You watch the History Channel, right?  My father fought to liberate people from concentration camps.  Almost died in The Battle of the Bulge.  Am I gonna sit here and watch the same thing happen to the Red, White, and Blue?  I’m disgusted, appalled.  Crying children.  My country?  Cages.  I’m ashamed to call myself American.

ICE.  Jack-booted storm troopers.  Sometimes you just walk away from your job because it is too repulsive, inhumane.  You say “I won’t be a part of this.”  Patriots just doing their jobs?  So were the SS men in Dachau.  Study the banality of evil.  They say they’ll use DNA to match the right children with their families.  What’s that about?  Like parents won’t recognize their own children?  Why do we need to match DNA?  If this doesn’t sound creepy to you, you aren’t paying attention.

How many times have you heard someone ask “if you were back in Nazi Germany would you have participated in the Holocaust?”  The answer is inevitably, “No I would have resisted.”  Liars, every one of you.

The time for conversation is over.  There is no such thing as “good people on both sides” when the Confederate flag is displayed.  How would you feel if they put up a statue honoring Erwin Rommel and you were Jewish?  Stone Mountain, Georgia.  How does an African American feel about that monument?


On today’s menu is Scott Pruitt Gauleiter of the Environmental Protection Agency.  He resigns after disemboweling 50 years of environmental protection for the planet.  Talk about putting the fox in the hen house.  A lifestyle considered lavish even by Imperial Roman standards on my/your dime while you scrabble to get health insurance, he resigns not in shame, but in having done a “good” job.  I’m sure there is a CEO/Lobbyist job he doesn’t need waiting for him in the Energy Sector somewhere.  Probably the Koch brothers.  Who knows.  Presidential Pardon.

Enough for today.  I’ll get back to you tomorrow.  I have so much more to say….

Trial bt Internet


Trial by Fury: Internet Savagery and the Amanda Knox Case - Douglas Preston

I probably have rated it higher than it should be but it was quite thought provoking. Not so much another dissection of the trial that seemed to never end as the rampant online fury that surrounded Amanda and Raffaele, people that not only were blatantly innocent but who these people couldn’t have possibly known anything about other than what was fed to them via social networks, websites, and overtly biased media outlets. What possible stake could Jim Bob in Timbuktu have in the sad tale of one British student’s brutal murder in Perugia, Italy and the quite obviously framed defendants? Why wish the innocent guilty, and so vehemently, or care at all with everything else that is going on in the world?

Preston, yes that Douglas Preston of Preston & Child, does a good job of distilling the workings and psychology of online mob hysteria and retribution and how it starts and spreads virally. He focuses not so much on the details of this actual event as on the meta-level workings of the frenzy and how literally thousands of individuals can make death threats against someone they don’t know and don’t have any stake in based purely on mob dynamics and biological and social evolution.

Original post:

No Future


Anger is an Energy: My Life Uncensored - John Lydon

Intelligent without being intellectual and always entertaining. And what about that whine? Lydon via Andrew Perry more or less chronologically recounts his life from a wee lad to the present time. A born raconteur, Lydon relates the saga of his life in the Sex Pistols and beyond and everything in-between. Full of laughs there are also decidedly more serious and tender moments than you would expect and Johnny comes off as a fairly serious person, not one for sex and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll but he’s seen it, just not participated. He’s refreshingly self-deprecating while at the same time you can see his actual pride in the things he has done. As you would expect he lives life to the fullest and has no time for fools.


Not as many sneers as you might expect.


All you english teachers stay away from this, Mr. Lydon has his own way of speaking and writing and it ain’t textbook correct. It’s more like listening to someone verbatim that knows how to speak but doesn’t know proper grammar.


Still, blind acceptance is the sign,
Of stupid fools who stand in line, like…

Original post:

Goodreads has stolen this blog . . . seriously

Author Douglas A. Anderson posted this from the multi-contributor blog Wormwoodiana:


“Yes, Mark Valentine and I were very distressed today to learn that Goodreads has usurped this blog and posted it at their own site, renaming it “Mark Valentine’s Blog” even though this blog is multi-authored. Neither Mark nor I gave any such permission for this action, nor did we know it had happened until today.

In my view, this moves Goodreads (owned by into the top of the Corporate Scum Pile. We have sent requests for it to be completely removed, but this is something we should never have had to do, if the corporate raiders would leave other people’s stuff alone.

See it for yourself. Here is the URL for the stolen blog:

***Update. Thanks to Ryan (see comments), this now appears in snippet form, but it’s still misnamed as Mark”s blog when it isn’t.***

I hope this link goes dead soon.  Real soon.  And any inclination I might ever have had to join Goodreads is now gone.

The sad thing, too, is that both Mark and I now feel less inclined to post anything other than snippets of news here. All thanks to the unconscionable theft by Goodreads.”

Original post: