I’ve previously written about this subject but most of your long term memory is shot, so I’m going to have to go over this again.  I intend to offend as many of you as possible as I weave my unassailable arguments.

Nobody is pro-abortion.  Let’s get that out of the way first.  My wife and I are both pro-choice and we had a number of problems; eight pregnancies, three live children.  Our son Ian was stillborn.  I won’t go into the details because that’s not relevant.  What is relevant is my wife and I discussed the issue of abortion as she went through her last pregnancy.  Since she was considered high risk, she had to undergo an extraordinary number of non-routine tests.  Several of the tests would have merely determined the probability of a birth defect, possibly one like Down’s Syndrome, or Potter’s Syndrome (ever seen Linda Hunt!) that could affect a child’s entire life, health, or even viability.  We decided to forego these tests even though our insurance would have paid 100%, because we wouldn’t have had an abortion anyway.  We personally didn’t believe in it.  Call it God’s will if you must, but don’t ever call me pro-abortion, I’m pro-choice, period.

Now that that argument is out of the way, let’s move on to the rest of the things the wacko religious right and the Nazi, I mean the Republican party uses to try to block a woman’s right to choose her own health and life decisions.

The number one argument, you wacko’s use is the Bible, specifically the New Testament.  Let’s put aside the first fact that the Bible was written by men, not God to explain to a frightened and often perplexed humanity (some still are) that suffering was inevitable and things would someday get better.  It also gave a moral code to a society that was often brutal and unjust.  It kept the boat from sinking, so to speak.  I don’t want to get into all the political and social ills of religion because that’s not relevant here.  See, I’m running rings around you conservatives with history, science, and logic.  The short answer is all religious texts are a collection of folk fairy stories that help(ed) people get along.  They were all written by human beings not necessarily (as in never) divinely inspired.  Their time is past.  Science reigns.

I said I wasn’t going the Bible as fiction route, but I had to for you right wing knuckle draggers that can’t seem to make a decision without looking it up in a Bible concordance.  Also, don’t tell me I don’t know my Bible.  I taught Sunday School at one time.  I’ve read it cover to cover and more, and more commentary than you’ll probably ever bother to study.  Let’s just say for argument’s sake that the Bible is true.  One of the arguments against choice is that Jesus said more or less, bring the children unto me.  Now let’s look at this closely.  Did he say, bring the unborn to me?  No.  Did He say, bring the fetuses to me?  No.  Did He say bring the embryo to me?  No.  Did He say bring the seed and egg to me?  No.  Otherwise Jesus had nothing to say about a woman’s right to choose.  Nada.  Nothing.  Even if we give Jesus the characteristic of divinity, he had nothing to say about abortion.  The Old Testament is almost equally mum on the subject.

Another argument is the non-scientific one about souls.  I haven’t seen nor heard one yet and neither have you, nor are you ever going to, despite claims to contrary.  Remember, fairy stories.  You are a high functioning evolved hunk of flesh and blood, a beautiful (well, some of you) biological machine with self-awareness that is scared shitless about the idea of your non-being.  Some are higher functioning than others, but I don’t want to name names.  When the machine breaks, it dies.  Do you remember being a fetus, or even an infant?  There is no such thing as a soul.  If I have one, my cat has one.  I don’t think so.

Soul Mate

Now that we have souls out of the way, there is the argument that the fetus can feel pain.  So does your cat.  So do pigs and cows and fish and chickens.  Are you a vegetarian?  If not you are an anti-choice Hypocrite.

Additionally most anti-choice wackos are the same ones that believe in the death penalty.  Should I say the H-word again?  Talk about souls and pain.  I’ve no doubt about the pain a death row inmate feels, none at all.

See, rings around you with logic.

What’s left?  Not much except the Constitution guarantees that you don’t get to tell my daughters how to run their lives.  And I’ll defend them and their right to choose to my last breath.  So there!

Oh, I forgot one more thing, dudes don’t get to tell women what to do anymore.  They’re perfectly capable of making their own decisions.  Dudes, keep your hands and googly eyes off them too.  And watch your language around them.  They usually make better choices than old white men anyway, especially ones with orange comb overs.