I’ve been reading a bit of history (get over it, I’m smarter than you are.) recently and I began to wonder why the US has considered the United Kingdom to be their closest ally seemingly forever.  After all we (the US, I mean) fought two wars against Britain (and kicked their ass both times even though Britain was supposedly unbeatable at the time).  Britain is also the only country that ever attacked the continental US (we beat their ass that time as well).  At the same time the French were allies against Britain even sending their army and navy over to help us beat the British asses, and probably saved us in the Revolutionary War (that’s the Colonial War in North America for the limeys here).  France is a republic, and has been for a long time now, while the UK is still a detestable hereditary monarchy.  Other than a mostly common language, why is Britain considered our big buddy?

General Lafayette

I really think France should be celebrated as the United States’ closest and best ever ally, not the UK.  I’m liking that.  France gave us the Statue of Liberty too.  What did Britain ever give us except onerous taxes, no representation, killing a bunch of us, and burning down the White House too.  Well, there is Dr. Who.  So I still say screw the UK and Vive la France!

As a side note, I live near a place where the Battle of Great Cane Brake was in 1775.  There were no British soldiers just loyalists-Tories and Americans (he, he).  It wasn’t a big battle but it is in most books.  The Americans were sick of having all their crops and livestock impressed for the British.  They ambushed the loyalists and ran ’em off.  Good riddance to bad rubbish I say.  They celebrate it every year with a re-enactment.  I like seeing all the loyalists laying on the ground at the end.  Oh, and I don’t live too far from Kings Mountain and Cowpens and we roughed up the cowardly Bloody Tarleton and his loyalist rabble there too.  So when somebody says that the British are our best ally, I think:  when did some French guy ever try to kill an American on American soil?  The French and Indian wars don’t count because they were fighting the wretched British back then.  We colonists weren’t smart enough then to know which side our bread would soon be buttered on.  We still thought that loopy King liked us “subjects.”

Digression #2.  My heritage is Scottish/Irish and a bit of Dane mixed in.  I have to think some wise-ass limey hereditary Dook or Lord was responsible for making my ancestors’ lives so unbearable that they felt they had to make a treacherous journey to some far flung wilderness in the New World just to survive.  This thought kind of bums me out as well.  I’ll get my bit of petty revenge though when the Scots vote to bail out of the whole wretched mess of hereditary monarchy soon.  I’m sure the rest of the Irish and the Welsh won’t be too far behind.  Then the British Isles will make the Balkans look like a collection of big countries.